What Do I Do?, 2023

Description

what am I doing. The picture was taken after a traumatic experience, I didn’t know what I had drawn until it was finished. Two worlds on two sides, everything is the same, but I don’t know if it’s crumbling, or building, or one collapsing, the other building, or one and the same. Something is half-finished, something is coming to an end, and I’m standing at the very bottom, and I’m very tiny, you can’t even see that it’s me, because it could be all of humanity at the dawn of the new era, which we are really stepping into every moment. Of course, there are the big moments that go down in the history books, there are astrologically big shifts in the cosmic sky, and there is the birth of a child in the family, which is also a big moment, and the wedding, divorce, and death. There and then I lived my own inner traumatic moment, which I saw reflected in the whole world, that nothing is good anywhere, and the whole world is traumatized, the whole world is shattered with me at once. How much of this is projection, how much is reality, is difficult to disentaliate. Imagine – I’ll tell you something, it’s no big deal, but it’s always in my head – that I was born on the new moon, and every time I break down, and every time I have to start over, it always gives me strength that the defining moment of my life was the new moon in the sky of my birth, which was born with me, then it always becomes a full moon, and then it disappears again and has to be born again. It’s quite typical of me that I run out cyclically, disappear maybe, be a little destroyed, then it turns out that I don’t, and I start to fulfill again. This is my world, my life, I build and collapse or I build and destroy. The architecture fascinates me, and I’ve seen a lot of construction in our area in recent years, maybe they influenced the pictorial symbolism, but of course the buildings are me, and so is the tiny figure looking at it. If you stand behind the figure and watch it from there, you could be me, and you could be the buildings that are collapsing and building as our world today is collapsing and building. I imagine the world standing in front of my picture looking at us and himself as little black figures.